I Thought I Was Learning. I Was Just Copying

by Firat Akbas

Copying is not learning.
Copying is mimicking structure to feel safe.

Every time I wanted to learn something new, it was always the same routine:

I searched for the smartest-sounding text I could find, grabbed my pen and notebook, and started “studying.”

Let me translate that for you:

I was copying.
Not learning.

It felt good. It looked good.
I’d sit there for hours, filling page after page.
I could even say things like:

“Man, I studied for 3–4 hours today. Felt the grind.”


But here’s the truth was:

I wrote 4,000 to 8,000 words a day.
I was surrounded by information.
But I retained almost none of it.

And the worst part?
I didn’t even realize it.

Why?

Because copying gives you the illusion of mastery.
You feel productive. Your hands are moving. You’re “doing something.”
But your brain is passive. Your voice is silent.
You’re outsourcing thought, not building it.

And for me?
I realized I never actually trusted my own understanding.
I just borrowed someone else’s and hoped that was enough.


So what changed?

I stopped trying to consume perfectly and started trying to own imperfectly.

I’d take one quote, one idea, and ask myself:

“How would I explain this to someone I care about?”

“What mistake did I used to make here?”

“How do I feel this in my body, not just understand it in my mind?”



That’s when my learning was finally effective

My memory improved.
My voice got sharper.
My beliefs started to become mine.


So if you’re reading this and feel stuck in your learning…

Maybe it’s not that you’re not smart enough.

Maybe you just never felt safe enough to trust your own mind.

And maybe today’s the day you stop copying.


Leave a comment or DM me with one habit you thought was helping you — but was actually keeping you stuck.
Let’s grow with clarity, not confusion.

Firat