You deleted the pictures.
Blocked her everywhere.
Told yourself you’re done.
Because that’s what strong men do, right?
“Don’t be soft about it.”
“Move on.”
“Focus on yourself.”
So you do.
You go to work.
You hit the gym.
You talk to new people.
You feel good… mostly.
But then… one of those nights hits.
Quiet.
Lonely.
Heavy.
And before you know it,
You’re unblocking.
Scrolling.
Reading old messages.
Looking at saved photos you swore you deleted.
You tell yourself it’s nothing.
Just curiosity.
Just nostalgia.
But deep down?
You’re searching.
For One Message. One Sign. One Signal That Says:
“I still care.”
But it doesn’t come.
And the longer the silence stretches, the louder it gets.
It’s not just that she’s gone quiet —
It’s that part of you still wants to matter to her.
Even if you’ve “moved on.”
Even if you’re “strong now.”
And man… that truth stings.
The Grief No One Warns Men About
This isn’t a break-up story with fireworks.
There’s no final fight.
No dramatic goodbye.
Just… distance. Coldness. Absence.
And that’s the worst part:
How do you mourn something that technically didn’t end — but is clearly gone?
We don’t talk about this as men.
We don’t talk about how we sit at our desks, phone in hand, heart half-shattered.
How we scroll, stalk, replay memories like they’re sacred footage.
How we ache to be seen.
But I’ll say it boldly:
It hurts when she stops choosing you.
Even if she never says it out loud.
You Don’t Just Miss Her — You Miss Who You Were With Her
At first, I thought I missed her.
But what I really missed…
Was me.
The version of me that felt:
- Confident
- Attractive
- Respected
- Chosen
- Full of possibility
That man disappeared when she did.
And for a while, I didn’t know how to get him back.
The Delusion That Texting Again Will Fix It
Even now, part of me wants to message her again.
I have her number. Her address.
I could write something perfect, something kind.
Just enough to open the door.
But I won’t.
Because I’ve learned something the hard way:
Needing someone to validate your worth will always make you bleed.
What we really want is peace.
Not a reply.
Not a second chance.
Just a sense of “I mattered.”
And that’s something we have to give ourselves.
You Are Not Weak for Feeling This
You’re not soft for missing her.
You’re not pathetic for checking if she’s online.
You’re not broken for still hurting months — even years later.
You’re just human.
And maybe no one told you this,
But heartbreak doesn’t need a dramatic ending to cut deep.
Sometimes silence is enough to split a man in two.
So What Do You Do With The Pain?
You sit with it.
Not forever. But for as long as it takes to tell the truth.
And here’s the truth:
- You don’t need her to see your worth.
- You don’t need to be loved to be lovable.
- You don’t need to be chosen to choose yourself.
You pick up the pieces.
You rebuild your habits.
You lift the damn weights.
You eat well.
You reflect honestly.
You walk back into your own life like it still matters.
Because it does.
And Maybe…
Maybe she’ll never text back.
Maybe someone else is in your spot now.
Maybe you’ll never hear the words you’re dying for.
But if you can survive that —
If you can live without revenge,
Without closure,
Without being chosen back…
Then you’ve already won a fight most never even name.
Because healing isn’t loud.
It’s not a post on Instagram.
It’s not the moment you finally forget her name.
It’s what happens quietly —
When you keep showing up.
When you stop checking.
When you learn to love the man who stayed.
The one who didn’t give up on you.
You.
– Firat Akbas
for the men who feel too much and say too little.
Leave a comment