When You Can’t Move On Because Nothing Was Ever Clear
Some breakups hurt because love ends.
Others hurt because it never really began the way you thought it did.
You Weren’t Lazy. You Were Just Lost.
When she left, I told myself:
“I should’ve worked harder.”
“I should’ve been more focused.”
“I’m lazy. That’s the problem.”
No.
I wasn’t lazy.
I was lost.
I stayed lost because I kept chasing someone who gave me just enough attention to keep me confused.
The replies were nice.
But empty.
The texts had emojis.
But no real effort.
She said, “I care.”
But her actions whispered, “I’m gone.”
She Didn’t Break You — You Broke Yourself By Staying Too Long
I’m not blaming her.
But let’s be honest:
Some women know exactly what they’re doing when they keep you just close enough to stay on the hook.
And some men — me included — ignore their gut because we hope to be chosen.
I texted too much.
Explained myself too much.
Tried to be the “good guy” for someone who had already mentally checked out.
That’s not love.
That’s self-abandonment.
The Gaslighting You Never Called Out
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“You’re overthinking.”
“I just need time.”
You heard those words.
But you weren’t crazy.
You weren’t needy.
You were reacting to inconsistency — and she blamed you for it.
That’s gaslighting.
It doesn’t have to be loud or evil to be damaging.
It can be subtle, passive — the kind that makes you question your own worth.
And when it ends — you’re not just heartbroken.
You’re confused, ashamed, and unrecognizable to yourself.
The Shame of Ignoring the Signs
You knew something was off.
You told yourself:
“Maybe it’s me.”
“Maybe I’m imagining things.”
“Maybe if I try harder…”
But those were breadcrumbs.
Small signs you ignored because hope wanted to win.
The shame isn’t in being fooled.
It’s in staying too long after the doubt starts whispering.
The Project That Pulled Me Back to Life
There was always something I wanted to do.
Build something.
Create.
Write.
Fix my health.
But heartbreak fogs your mind.
It makes your purpose shrink.
Until one day, I just started.
Not because I felt motivated.
Because I was tired of feeling like a shell of a man.
Start the thing you said you’d do “one day.”
Not for money. Not for revenge.
But to remind yourself: You exist outside of her.
You Need a Mission — And You Need Real Friends
You need a mission.
And you need friends who don’t just hand you a beer and say “move on, bro.”
You need friends who challenge you, sit in silence with you, call you out, and remind you who the hell you are.
Stop isolating.
Stop stalking her social media.
Start building what you were too emotionally drained to build when you were chasing her.
She might be someone else’s problem now.
But you?
You’re your own responsibility again.
What Helped Me Heal
Here’s what really worked:
- Unfollow and block — not for drama, but for your own peace.
- Tell two close friends everything — no filters.
- Cold showers and gym — every damn day if you can. If not, try but do it.
- Start a passion project, even if it’s messy. Blog, business, selling lemonade? TRY.
- Accept the part I played in staying too long.
- Journal every time I want to text her, if you don’t journal — speak in front of the mirror.
- Forgive her — quietly, without needing her to hear it, but speak or write it.
- Forgive myself — loudly, every day, in front of the mirror.
You Were Never Too Much — You Were Just in the Wrong Place
You’re not broken.
You’re not “too emotional.”
You loved someone who wasn’t equipped to meet you at your depth.
That’s not weakness.
That’s misalignment.
The kindest thing you can do now is walk away with dignity — and build a life no one can ever take from you again.
Not dreamy but realistic to your situation. No business contacts? No followers? No nothing? Doesn’t matter. You have capacity now to TRY to create it at least.
And “building a business or purpose” isn’t the golden key that solves everything. It’s more about finding something where you are in control again and where you feel seen and validated. Create something that comes from you, no matter if you cook, sing, train, or write.
So Pick Up Your Pieces
Start that thing.
Text your real friends.
Train your body.
Fix your routine.
Cry if you have to — then keep going.
You’re not healing for her.
You’re healing to stop betraying yourself.
You are not less masculine or less of a man if you work with your emotions. Your future wife wants and needs that from you anyway.
But you need it the most right now.
Head up king.
I love you and you are doing great.
— Firat Akbas
Firat Akbas 